6 Steps to Building Self-Esteem in Children
July 17, 2008 Category: Successful Children No Comments »
Self-esteem is the foundation of how a person acts, thinks and feels about the world and themselves.
Self-esteem is also a key to feeling competent and in control. Good self-esteem can impact future and present success in all area of life. Our self esteem is formed by our primary relationships as children, and our very first relationships may indicate how we feel about ourselves for the rest of our lives.
Even though our later relationships with our peers and other adults may impact our self-esteem, the most important thing parents can do is to allow a child to feel as though they can be themselves in an emotionally and physically safe environment.
A child’s self-esteem is based on a positive relationship with parents and eventually teachers. Parents can foster that can-do attitude in their children with a “Wow!” or a “That’s great!” every time they accomplish a feat.
However, positive comments are not the sole builders of self-esteem. Providing a warm, loving, and caring environment is just as important. Children who are shown a lot of affection can still suffer low self-esteem because they feel inadequate or unaccomplished. On the flip side, confident and joyful children can have low self-esteem if they are not loved. A child must experience a balance of both love and confidence to have high self-esteem.
Giving constructive communication, positive messages, and carefully delivering criticism will lead to good self-esteem. Use these tips to improve a child’s self-perceptions.
1. Limit the “Don’ts” to the barest minimum. State your requests positively. Too many negative words in your sentences will only lead to a child’s self doubt.
2. Allow a child to finish their own sentence Children begin to feel unimportant if you are always putting words into their mouth. Let them finish what they’re trying to say without interruption.
3. Give eye contact Kids want attention. When you look a child right in the eye, they know you are listening. It gives them the idea that you are interested in what they have to say, even if you aren’t.
4. Make sure you have conversations One person shouldn’t do all the talking. Likewise, kids must learn only one person should talk at a time. Everyone can’t speak at once. Make sure they know that if more than one person is trying to talk, they won’t understand a thing.
5. Speak calmly, and keep irritation and a critical tone out of your voice A calm voice keeps a child from panicking. Use words that the child will comprehend. Let kids know what they need to do, and why or why not they should do something.
6. Don’t be afraid to discipline. If you child misbehaves, tell them in a simple way they understand that the behavior is unacceptable, and explain what behavior you expect.